Chapter 12 – Clouds

She closed her eyes, and waited.

A moment later, she felt his kiss on one closed eyelid, and then the other.

His arms went around her waist, drawing her close.

She felt his heart thudding against his chest, echoing the fast pace of hers.

He kissed her lips gently, and then drew back.

She kept her eyes closed, and felt his fingers touch her lips, rubbing back and forth.

He kissed her again, deeper this time, and her hands tightened in his hair as she reeled under the onslaught.

His hand now travelled upwards from her waist, and she caught her breath, waiting to see what he would do next.

His touch on her breast surprised her, she gasped and opened her eyes, searching his gaze for something, she didn’t quite know what.

He stopped what he was doing immediately, and brought his hand up to her hair instead, running his fingers through the soft waves.

She watched, entranced, as he lifted one long strand to his lips, never breaking eye contact with her.

Her breaths were steady now, and he seemed to sense that, drawing her close once again.

This time, he kissed her neck, just where her pulse beat madly. 

He kissed his way up her neck, until he was at her lips again.

His kiss was demanding this time, and she responded with equal fervor.

His hand searched the back of her dress for the hooks, and swiftly released them.

She stilled again, feeling shy and uncertain.

His hand traced her exposed back, while his lips sought hers again.

When they broke apart this time, he leaned away from her, loosening his tie, and removing his jacket as she looked on.

 

She didn’t know what he expected of her. What was she supposed to do?

 

He took her hand and placed on the top button of his shirt, wordlessly asking her to unbutton it.

Her fingers trembled as she complied, keeping her gaze lowered, unable to meet his eyes.

Soon, the shirt hung open, and he removed it in one swift movement.

He reached for her top, and began pulling it off.

She drew back, her innate modesty coming to the fore.

He sensed what she was feeling, and brought her close once again, and rested her head against his chest.

She could hear his heartbeat, and feel his warmth under her hands.

The scent of his cologne mingled with his natural essence, arousing her, and comforting her at the same time.

He held her against his bare chest for a few moments, and then raised her face to his.

He bent his head to kiss her.

She closed her eyes and leaned in to his embrace.

 

The moment was abruptly shattered by the sound of a voice.

 

 

“Sheetal, are you sure the guard saw him go into the garden?”

 

“Yes, Mrs. Jha. His bodyguard followed him till the entrance to the rose garden, and then lost sight of him. But I’m sure he’s here somewhere..”

 

 

Khushi gasped, and pulled back immediately, her hands rising to cover herself.

Arnav moved swiftly, fastening her top, and handing her the dupatta before she even realized what he was doing.

He pulled his shirt back on, threw his jacket over his shoulder, and pocketed his tie.

He went to the entrance of the gazebo and looked out, trying to see where they were.

Khushi still remained where she was, embarrassment and shock paralysing her.

Arnav came back to her, and pulled her to her feet. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to set it to rights as best as he could.

 

He led her out of the gazebo, and had just stepped onto the path when they came face to face with Anjali and Sheetal.

 

 

“Chotey! Where have you been? Your guards lost sight of you, we were all so worried!”

 

“I just took Khushi for a walk, Di. No need to panic, everything’s fine. Why were you looking for me anyway?”

 

“It’s not just me, everyone has been asking for you! It’s your party, and your friends, you can’t just disappear and leave me to deal with them!”

 

“Sorry, Di. Let’s go back inside, I’ll handle everything.”

 

Anjali looked from Arnav to Khushi, noting the blush on her cheeks, visible even in the moonlight.

She decided not to risk embarrassing herself by questioning them further about their wherabouts.

 

“Fine.Now hurry!”

 

 

They walked back to the main hall , each lost in their own thoughts.

 

Arnav couldn’t believe they had come so close to making love to each other, and silently cursed the fact that this had to happen at a party, where they were expected to socialize.

 

Khushi couldn’t believe that she had been so uninhibited, changing her style seemed to have changed her in other ways as well!

 

The rest of the party passed in a blur, as Khushi struggled to come terms with everything that had happened.

She didn’t have a chance to be alone with him again, playing the perfect host kept him busy throughout the evening.

Being unable to talk to him about what had nearly happened frustrated her, and she longed to hear his voice.

 

Finally, it was time to go home, and she walked with her family to the car.

Arnav followed, talking to Bauji about some of the guests they had met.

She looked at him, he was cool, and composed, while she was a mass of conflicting emotions..How could he talk normally, like nothing had happened?

In fact, he had been in control throughout, taking care of his appearance, and hers, before facing Di.

Did nothing affect him?

 

As she got into the car, she heard him wish everyone goodnight.

She looked out the window, and found him looking straight at her.

Their gazes held for a long moment, and then the car moved.

She looked out the rear window to see him staring at the car, his expression thoughtful.

 

 

 

 

 

Later that night, Khushi tossed and turned in her bed, unable to sleep, unable to calm the turmoil in her body and mind.

She finally got up, and went to the window, staring at the moon.

It reminded her of what had happened in that moonlit corridor, and she shivered, her body once again craving him, aching for his touch.

 

Lost in her thoughts, she was startled by the ring of the phone.

Only one person would call her at this time of night.

She clicked on the talk button, but didn’t say a word.

She hadn’t forgotten their bet.

But apparently, neither had he, because he didn’t say anything either.

They stayed that way for a few minutes,holding their phones, listening to each other’s breathing, and waiting for the other person to give in first.

 

Finally, Arnav sighed, and spoke.

 

“I admit I called you, but only because you’ve already lost.”

 

“What?! I haven’t spoken to you all day!”

 

“Yes, you did. I heard you through the glass.”

 

“You couldn’t possibly have heard me! You are the one who phoned, so I’ve won!”

 

“Khushi, accept it gracefully. You spoke at that window, that’s all I know. And I didn’t call to argue. I called to ask you why?”

 

“Why, what?”

 

“Why the changes, Khushi?”

 

Khushi immediately understood what he was talking about.

 

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“Answer me first, why?”

 

“I thought you’d like it..”

 

“I do like it, Khushi. But then, you’ve always looked beautiful to me. The new clothes, the jewels, the hair..all of these were just the icing on the cake. An utterly delicious, gorgeous cake.”

 

“I’m glad you liked it, you know. I did it for you..”

 

“Why? Did I ever ask you to?”

 

“No..No, you didn’t..but I thought…I just wanted to fit in..”

 

Arnav sighed.

This was what he was afraid of.

 

“Khushi, listen to me. I fell in love with you because you are who you are, lovely, quirky, and unique. I wouldn’t change that for the world. If I wanted someone who was just like all the others at that party, I would have married one of them long ago. But I didn’t. I want you, just the way you are. But I understand what you are saying. If wearing these clothes, and learning their ways makes you feel more comfortable, then I’m all for it. But if you’re doing this because you think I expect it, then you are mistaken.”

 

“What do you mean? I..I don’t understand..”

 

“I want you to make these changes because it makes you happy, Khushi. Not for any other reason. So tell me, do you want to do it? Does this make you happy?”

 

Khushi thought about what he was saying.

The new clothes, the hair, the attitude..it was all new to her.

But she realized she liked it.

She liked the confidence it gave her, the ability to hold her own amongst the crowd.

 

 

“Yes, it does.”

 

“That’s all I wanted to hear. So now, let’s talk about something else. Like the gazebo.”

 

Khushi blushed,

Earlier, she had wanted to talk to him about that very thing, but now that he was actually referring to it, she realised she was tongue-tied, and embarrassed.

 

“Khushi? Are you there?”

 

“I..I don’t know what to say..”

 

“Fine. I’ll tell you what I think. I’m sitting here wishing that I had never hired Sheetal Mishra, or any of her damned guards in the first place!”

 

Khushi laughed.

 

“It was hardly their fault!”

 

“Of course it was! If not for them, we would have had our wedding night by now.”

 

“Arnavji ! I’m putting the phone down.”

 

 

“I’m just stating the truth. And you know that too. Or have you already forgotten how we touched, and kissed, and removed our clothes..”

 

 

“I didn’t remove anything!”

 

“Yes, you did. I clearly remember it was you who pulled my shirt off.”

 

“Only because you wanted me to!”

 

“Did I ask you to do that?”

 

“Yes! No! Not in words, but…Oh forget it. I don’t want to talk about this!”

 

“But I do. Or we could talk about what you are wearing..”

 

“Night suit. White. Now goodnight!”

 

 

“Before you put the phone down, there’s something you should know.”

 

“What?”

 

“There’s one thing that will remain the same during our real wedding night.”

 

“Wh..what?”

 

“You’ll be speechless then, too.”

 

 

Khushi cut the call, her cheeks burning, her heart pounding against her chest.

 

 

 

 

Arnav put his phone down, and stretched out in the chair by the poolside.

His mind replayed their intimate moments as he stared at the reflection of the moon in the pool.

What would it be like to make love to her by the poolside?

He fell asleep there, dreaming of long hair streaming in the water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Sanka Devi, you need to hurry! Your teacherji will be here soon!”

 

“I know, Buaji, I just need to talk to Preeto for a few minutes, I’ll be back soon!”

 

 

Khushi hurried out, the afternoon sun glinting off the gota work on her dress.

She wondered why her friend wanted to meet her, she hadn’t told her much on the phone.

She turned a corner into an alley.

The next thing she knew, she was pinned against the wall, held there with surprisingly gentle hands.

 

“Arnavji! What are you doing here?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

He bent his head to kiss her, but she turned her head away.

 

“Not here! Anyone passing by could see us!”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“I do! What if Buaji or Amma saw us?”

 

“They would probably speed up the wedding if they did, that’s all.”

 

 

“You’re horrible.”

 

“And you’re beautiful.”

 

“Let me go.”

 

“Not in this lifetime.”

 

 

Khushi tried to remain irritated, even as his words secretly thrilled her.

 

“Why are you here, anyway?”

 

Arnav relaxed his arms, and stepped away.

 

“I have some news. We have a wedding date.”

 

“We do? When is it?”

 

“One week from today.”

 

“What?! That soon? Are you sure?'”

 

“Of course I’m sure. And don’t worry about anything, I’ll handle all the preparations. There’s this wedding planner..”

 

“Wait! I still can’t believe it’s going to be next week..Did the Panditji say there were no other dates?”

 

“Well..”

 

“Arnavji? What did the Panditji say?”

 

 

“You know I don’t believe in all that stuff.”

 

“And you know very well that I do. So tell me.”

 

 

“Fine. It’s all nonsense,anyway. He said there were no auspicious dates for the next three months.”

 

“What?! But you just said we’re getting married next week..”

 

“Yes,we are. I chose that date. I’m definitely not going to wait for another three months to make you mine!”

 

 

“You can’t do that! If the Panditji said so, then we have to wait!”

 

“Khushi, that’s impossible. How can you expect me to wait for three months? And all for some stupid mumbo-jumbo about stars and planets not aligning..”

 

 

“It’s not stupid! Our marriage will not be blessed if we don’t get married on the date set by panditji!”

 

 

“Blessed? What are you talking about? Khushi, I don’t believe this. After yesterday, I thought you had changed..”

 

 

“Just because I changed my outer appearance doesn’t mean that I forgot my traditions! “

 

 

“Traditions are just rules made  by other people, Khushi. There’s nothing holy about them. Not that I believe anything is holy, because for holy to exist, there would have to be a God.”

 

 

“Arnavji, I don’t want to argue with you about God right now. This is about our marriage. Or are you going to tell me that you don’t believe in that, either?”

 

 

Khushi hadn’t thought twice about what she was saying, and expected him to quickly answer, and say that he believed in marriage.

When he remained silent, her heart started pounding with an unknown foreboding.

 

“Arnavji? You do believe in marriage, don’t you?”

 

 

“I believe in our love, Khushi.”

 

“What kind of answer is that?”

 

“I believe that we love each other, and we should be together. And for that to happen, you want us to be married. And so we will get married next week.”

 

“I want us to be married? You were the one who proposed!”

 

“I know that. I did it because I know you. You need that committment, the bond recognised by society, and I will make that happen for you. But I would be just as happy if we were just living together.”

 

 

“You can’t mean that! I thought..I thought you believed in marriage, in the pheras that we will take together..”

 

 

“Khushi, I will do all those things, for you. Isn’t that enough?”

 

“No, it isn’t! What would be the point, if you didn’t even realize the meaning of what you are doing?”

 

“So what do you want, dammit? I can’t change how I feel about these things!”

 

“Yes, you can..if you had a reason, you can change yourself. Like I did. “

 

“Oh, is that why you did it? So that you could blackmail me into all these rituals?”

 

 

“Of course not! I already explained to you why I did all that!”

 

 

“Whatever the reason is, that was your choice. And this is mine. I will go through with the wedding, and all the ceremonies, but I will not be forced to believe in them.

And we will get married next week.”

 

 

“No, we will not.”

 

She said it so softly, Arnav didn’t believe his ears at first.

 

“What?!!”

 

“I said, we will not get married next week.”

 

“Unbelievable! You want to wait for another three months?”

 

“No.”

 

A terrible fear took hold of Arnav.

 

“What are you saying, Khushi?”

 

 

“I’m saying that I cannot even think of marrying someone who doesn’t even believe in that word.”

 

 

“What?! But you already know this! I’ve never hidden it from you!”

 

 

“I thought things had changed..I thought you wanted to get married because you wanted to give our love  a name, not because it was just something I wanted..”

 

 

“Khushi, this isn’t making any sense..”

 

 

“It’s making perfect sense to me. I will not marry you, unless you prove that you believe in the sacred bond of marriage. Unless you agree to wait for the three months.”

 

 

Arnav was furious now. Was she giving him an ultimatum?

 

“That’s not going to happen. It’s next week, or nothing!”

 

“I chose nothing, then.”

 

 

Arnav watched in disbelief as she ran towards her house, tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

How dare she?!

 

He wouldn’t take this anymore.

 

He had had enough.

 

He turned around and headed for his SUV, throwing the red rose he had brought for her on the street.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hours later, Khushi lay on her bed, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying.

What should she do now?

What could she do?

 

Her phone rang, and she jumped up to answer it.

Was it Arnavji, calling to apologize?

 

“Hello?”

 

“Khushiji, it’s Anjali. Are you okay?”

 

 

“Anjaliji, I..yes..”

 

“I’m worried, Khushiji. I need to ask you something. Something has happened here..and I’m not sure why..”

 

 

“Anjaliji ,Is it about Arnavji?”

 

“Yes..you see, Khushiji, every year, on my Mom’s birthday, Arnav flies to London. He does this because he cannot bear to stay here, with all the memories haunting him. He goes away to escape being emotionally tortured, although he would never admit it.”

 

“Why are you telling me all this now, Anjaliji?”

 

 

 

“Because our Mom’s birthday is next month, but I just heard Chotey talking to a travel agent about an airplane ticket to London for tomorrow..”

 

 

“London?!”

 

“Yes,Khushiji..Initially I thought he might be planning your honeymoon, but then…”

 

 

“Then wh..what, Anjaliji?”

 

 

“He told the travel agent to book only one ticket for Mr.Raizada.”

 

 

 

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PS: I have kept up my promise of daily updates so far, but the arrival of houseguests has made my schedule very erratic.

So until this weekend, I may not be able to update daily. I will try my best to do so, and if it isn’t possible, I’ll definitely update every alternate day.

My apologies.

 

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